Faking My Shame
Black as coal, dark as sin.
I am the living dead, roaming around the pieces of a life that never soared.
My heart has been shattered once more and turned to ice.
My poor black soul just becomes blacker still with no chance of redemption.
A true creature of the night, I destroy all that’s in my path.
I know no other way, nor do I understand what I am doing until it’s too late.
And my point of view becomes bleaker with tragedy and knowing just who’s to blame.
This knowledge costs me, ripping my poor heart in two.
The jagged edges of my soul slice clean through, and yet my broken heart still yearns to fly
even in its crippled state where it feels doomed to die.
My heart bleeds freely, yet you’ll never know.
I don’t know how to show you without letting go.
And letting go just terrifies me, is so terrifying even with God by my side
for I don’t trust my judgement or even recognize His voice.
I’m all alone I fear with nowhere left to go.
I’m all out of answers, and I’m tired of the pain.
I’m tired of feeling I’m the devil only faking my shame.